Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. The worst thing is--I know we've done some bloggable stuff lately, but now I don't remember what all it was.
I'm going to have to cut my nails. I have always coexisted nicely with talons, but I'm not as used to them now and they are getting in the way of my typing. Not to mention learning how to play the guitar (the one languishing in the corner) which I said I would do while I had both girls in school.
Yesterday we went to the funeral of Justin's grandmother, Kathleen. It was a very nice family service. The most beautiful flowers too! I told Justin that now he needs to remember that I want the song Pardon Goddess of the Night played at my funeral and I want the exact flowers from his grandmother's funeral as well.
Books. OK, books on the brain here. Between reading like crazy (nothing new there) and the upcoming Book Fair at school. Whew! Books books and more books. I've read my first book by Janet Evanovich, Metro Girl. It was a fun read. I like how she writes just as I would talk. (but not in a rambling, lost track, got back on but had been so far off that nobody knows I'm back on, they just think I'm further off) I'm looking forward to reading the next one in the series. My friend Karin loaned me Metro Girl and also a book by Jerrilyn Farmer called Killer Wedding. It was good, an enjoyable book, but didn't do tons for me. Wanna know the big one? Queen of Babble by Meg Cabot. What a great book!! And it's the beginning of a new series!!!!! At first I thought, why is she starting a new series?? She already started a new series with Size 12 Is Not Fat and I need to read more of those. But after reading Queen of Babble I want more of those and she can just give up on her Heather Wells mysteries. Perhaps I feel more empathy for Lizzie the "queen of babble"? This is BabbleJoy talking here! Then again, Heather Wells spends a lot of time educating people that she does not work in a "dorm" but rather a "residence hall". sigh When will people learn??
Today is Audrey's class trip to the pumpkin patch. I should probably get showered and dressed so I can meet them there. Need to run some random errands too. And type and copy the PTA newsletter to go out to students tomorrow. Wish me luck!
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
-Logan Pearsall Smith, "Myself"
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Forgot to put a quote earlier
From The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert (my favorite movie by the way)
Adam/Felicia: Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!
Adam/Felicia: Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!
I am passive-aggressive
But you knew that already didn't you? I found out a few years ago when a member of our extended family informed me that I was passive-aggressive. That person was correct, but it still hurt! Wish there was a nicer term for it. Or is that just being passive-aggressive?
A difficult thing about being passive-aggressive (OK, let's just call it p-a from now on) is that even when I think I might be able to stand up to someone and tell them how I really feel, I can't because I won't ever get over it. I think the more straight-forward people can tell it like it is and then it's all over. It's out, it's discussed, it's over, let's move on. I envy people who feel that way, I really do! But for me, even when something is out, discussed, and over I still can't move on.
Let's say Becky Sue (not her real name) has an issue with me and she tells me about it and we work through it. Once that is over she is just fine with us and figures I'm fine with us too. Now, pretend I have the issue with Becky Sue and finally get the guts to talk to her about it. We talk--maybe she's even proud of me for finally saying something-- and in the end everything is fine. Or is it? She's feeling fine. We got it out in the air and now we're done. Good. But for me, I'm not going to let it go. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't seem to! My mind just doesn't work that way.
Now here's where I really become p-a. Someone is saying things that frustrate me. Instead of saying something to that person and seeing if we can work something out or agree to not discuss it again, I start feeling like I just want to avoid that person. I want to avoid the inevitable---the topic that always seems to come up. And it feels like the only way to do it is to avoid the whole situation---which includes that person. The topic isn't one we are likely to agree on, nor are either of us likely to sway the other. Unfortunately, I always feel like the bad guy in these discussions--that I am at fault due to association with the topic.
Arrrgghhh!
So the next time it comes up, can I just say, "y'know, whenever we talk about this I get uncomfortable. Can we just agree to not bring it up around each other?" What do you think? Will that work? Or will she want to delve even deeper and try to discover why I feel that way. Because that would just bring to the forefront the problem I have to begin with---my inability to confront.
I'm just not going to win here am I? No matter what I'm going to make myself feel bad. Bad because I won't confront it and bad because I'll let her continue to say things that (unknowingly to her) hurt me.
OK, so somebody just tell me it will all be OK! C'mon, hurry up!
A difficult thing about being passive-aggressive (OK, let's just call it p-a from now on) is that even when I think I might be able to stand up to someone and tell them how I really feel, I can't because I won't ever get over it. I think the more straight-forward people can tell it like it is and then it's all over. It's out, it's discussed, it's over, let's move on. I envy people who feel that way, I really do! But for me, even when something is out, discussed, and over I still can't move on.
Let's say Becky Sue (not her real name) has an issue with me and she tells me about it and we work through it. Once that is over she is just fine with us and figures I'm fine with us too. Now, pretend I have the issue with Becky Sue and finally get the guts to talk to her about it. We talk--maybe she's even proud of me for finally saying something-- and in the end everything is fine. Or is it? She's feeling fine. We got it out in the air and now we're done. Good. But for me, I'm not going to let it go. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't seem to! My mind just doesn't work that way.
Now here's where I really become p-a. Someone is saying things that frustrate me. Instead of saying something to that person and seeing if we can work something out or agree to not discuss it again, I start feeling like I just want to avoid that person. I want to avoid the inevitable---the topic that always seems to come up. And it feels like the only way to do it is to avoid the whole situation---which includes that person. The topic isn't one we are likely to agree on, nor are either of us likely to sway the other. Unfortunately, I always feel like the bad guy in these discussions--that I am at fault due to association with the topic.
Arrrgghhh!
So the next time it comes up, can I just say, "y'know, whenever we talk about this I get uncomfortable. Can we just agree to not bring it up around each other?" What do you think? Will that work? Or will she want to delve even deeper and try to discover why I feel that way. Because that would just bring to the forefront the problem I have to begin with---my inability to confront.
I'm just not going to win here am I? No matter what I'm going to make myself feel bad. Bad because I won't confront it and bad because I'll let her continue to say things that (unknowingly to her) hurt me.
OK, so somebody just tell me it will all be OK! C'mon, hurry up!
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